1. "See, I told you Troy wears a wig!" -- Jill Ollier
2. "Hey, Chuck. Look how much it cost me to take the O-line to dinner?†-- Justin Hancock
3. "And this is my new three-story clothes closet with the elevator, just like Tiki Barber's". -- Nanit Noyb
4. Charlie: "Okay Ben here is a print-out of all your matches from your E-Harmony site."
Ben: "Okay great, umm...I'll take her, yep this one right here!!" -- Ashley Dancy
Tied for fifth place:
"Charlie, is that your name on Santa's naughty list?" -- Jen Smith
"Uh oh Charlie, looks like you made the naughty list this year!†-- Kim R.